What is this blog?

Hello everyone!

I’d like to thank everyone who has followed the blog for sticking around despite me not being active on here whatsoever for the past two months. I apologise for that. I honestly wasn’t feeling very inspired or motivated to do anything with this. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking about what I want to do here going forward. This originally started as something that was meant for me to write about 500 words a day about whatever I wanted, then I thought about possibly tackling some larger writing projects which… never happened. I feel a large part of why I stopped writing here and never did any of the writing projects I wanted to do is because I just 100% was trying to do way too much. 

I was looking back at my 2020 year in review post and immediately saw what I just mentioned above: I was trying to do way too much. Working a full time job, learning 3 different languages with 3 different tutors, and maintaining other hobbies and being able to relax? Yeah, not really happening! So, the past couple of months away from here have been an interesting learning experience for myself which I thought I would share here.

The major thing I did over the past couple of months was deciding to let go. But, what to let go of? In previous posts, I talked about learning Mandarin Chinese and Japanese, alongside with Korean. Well, I officially gave up Chinese and Japanese. I thought about possibly doing self study only with Japanese, but let’s look at my experience with the language: it’s a language I had said I wanted to learn for over 10 years, and let’s be real, I can’t even read or remember all the hiragana. I’ll always have a soft spot for Japanese media and culture in my heart, but I think it’s safe to say that learning the language is not for me. And that’s okay! I gave up on Chinese because… it’s hard. I just couldn’t grasp it at all. I think I gave it a fair shot with 2 months of lessons and got through HSK1 lesson 4. I even tried learning apps alongside the lessons and those weren’t helping either, so I figured it was time to give it up instead of forcing myself to continue with it.

So, that’s one of my 2021 resolutions completely obliterated. Although, it also reinforces my resolution of just focusing on my passions. With two languages done, I can focus on Korean which I am still loving and it’s going very well! I do 2-3 lessons a week (depending on availability of my tutor) of Korean which is nice just focusing on one thing.

Another thing I did that I talked about getting rid of, was going back to social media! I think a lot of it has to do with who you follow and what fandoms you want to participate in on different platforms. I went back to Instagram but instead of stressing about posting 1-2 screenshots a day, I just post whenever I want and want to also focus on myself and other interests/hobbies as well. Yeah, the 2,000+ likes are gone but I don’t really care about that anymore. With Twitter, I left every single KPOP fandom and hardly ever post about it anymore. I lurk official accounts for news now and that’s been a lot better than actively participating or following fan accounts. I still very much love KPOP and listen to it still, and will support my favorite groups and soloists, but I have finally found a very healthy balance of it for my mental health and am able to really enjoy it again like I used to!

So, with all of that out of the way.. I have been thinking about the blog again. I know I wanted to write about BTS and ENHYPEN, but I think when they release new music I may write about them. I’ll leave the theorizing to the lovely experts over on YouTube. What will I write about then? I think I’m going to go back to: writing about whatever I feel inspired by. Really though, this blog is just a very big journey and learning experience for me, and I’d love to see that continue as life goes on.

Over the next few days, and yes I really truly mean it this time, there may be some small tweaks happening visually with the blog, and I will be updating the social media panel, sidebar, actually posting an about me and about the blog section, and making a post about this new thing I bought the other day:

Playstation 5 disc version, bought from Playstation Direct, photo by me.

Yes, your girl finally bought a Playstation 5!! I have entered the next generation of console gaming and it is fantastic so far! I got incredibly lucky with Playstation Direct after 4 months of trying to get one. I have another controller, some hopefully nice controller skins, and my beloved Demon’s Souls remake coming in the mail soon. All my thoughts and feelings will be revealed about this lovely console in a post over the weekend! 

Until then, thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment, even if you just want to say hi. I appreciate you!

I watched another documentary.

The other night while going through Netflix, I found a new documentary by The Minimalists called Less Is Now. I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. I had already been cutting down on buying things just to buy them for a couple of months now (I swear something happened to my mindset on my last birthday), but this documentary was very enlightening and definitely gave me more hope and motivation to continue. It also was inspirational with the concept of just letting go. I talked about this in my last post, but this time it really hit different.

The Minimalists: Less Is Now promo poster from Netflix, via IMDB.

For a while, I have been wanting to get rid of old j-pop and k-pop CDs, photo books, photos, and so on. I think most of the stuff may just need to be recycled, although I’d love to even give stuff away for free for anyone who is interested so it doesn’t go to complete waste. Most of the CDs I have, I don’t even listen to the groups anymore. So I wonder, why do I still have them? They take up way too much space. And I finally realized: it’s because of the memory of the item. But, is the memory really tied to the item? Not really. I will always have the memory in my mind, so why keep unnecessary things? It took me far too long to realize this, but it’s a start! This weekend, I am starting at the beginning of my big cleanout, which I suspect will go for at least a few months or even into the summer. This was something I was going to do a year ago, but then COVID happened and is still happening although at least I feel like I can manage better. I will definitely document the process here even with photos!

I also started listening to The Minimalists podcast which has also been fairly enlightening so far, especially with finances! I’m glad I finally discovered these guys. Another podcast and documentary I’d love to get into is the Headspace one. When I did therapy at my university, my therapist recommended the app to me and it honestly helped. I think watching the new documentary and getting into the podcast would at least be a start.

Now for a language learning check-in!

I’ll start with Korean, since that’s my priority focus. The lessons are still going very well and it’s amazing how much I’ve learned since I started in November. I almost have no issues reading the language, although am still learning different words and grammar. I think my speaking is okay, but I really want to work on my listening skills so I plan to do that on my own time with k-dramas along with BTS and ENHYPEN contents!

Second is Japanese. This is going way better than anticipated because I have had experience with the language for years, I just never really sat down to properly learn it. I think my speaking and listening skills for this are okay, but I need to work on my reading skills for actual hiragana/katakana. It’s also interesting that Japanese and Korean sentence order share a lot of similarities so it’s super easy to remember!

Last is Chinese. This is going well for having zero experience. I’ve learned pinyin so far and I think next week we’re starting with the actual textbook (HSK1). This language relies a lot on tones/sounds which I didn’t realize before, so I definitely want to focus on listening and speaking skills to make sure that I’m saying the right tone for the word I mean or else it becomes something entirely different!

Besides having weekly lessons, self-study is very important for me to do. If I was able to, I would just self-study for all the languages, but having at least one actual lesson a week with a tutor holds me accountable, like I need to study and can’t just show up on Zoom without having gone over anything. I definitely think this way works better for me. I also finally ordered some study supplies and materials to put together over the weekend. I try not to schedule lessons on weekends now to give myself a bit of a break from Zoom, and I think that works out fine as well! Another thing I need to do is go through all my textbooks I have accumulated over the years, and either donate them or decide to actually use them.

Anyway, the only other thing going on is that I do have another career counseling meeting on the 25th which is exciting. I’m hoping there will be workshops in the spring I can go to, even if it’s digitally. And I’ve just been playing a lot of Uncharted. I’m making my way through 4 right now, and it’s so incredible. I don’t want it to end, even though I’ll be playing it at least another 3-4 times fully to get all the trophies, plus multiplayer! I’m really addicted to the survival mode. It’s so much fun!

I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe! Until next time. Take care everyone!